A Moment of Respite
by gaymariarobotnik
Summary: Eulmore has taken their stance against the Crystarium, but with doubts flooding through the warrior of light, how is he to cope?


Another day filled with endless quests passed the young warrior of light, as per his usual run. It was nice though, getting to explore the entirely new region that was Norvrandt. The flowery fields of Il Mheg, the melancholic forests of Lakeland that, even when overrun by sin eaters, was still wistfully beautiful. Though it had hardly gotten his mind off of the previous day, what with the citizens in the Crystarium sending him all around town to pick up small things like bread and butter, his mind still raced with thoughts of how the rest of Lakeland was faring, and he hardly had time to think about the impending doom they still might face as well, though the Scions and the Exarch both insist he take a moment for himself, how could he? It had only been a few days after the attack, and though everyone knew where to point the blame, the warrior still looked to himself for not being able to stop them all.

He sighed, pausing at the entrance to Syrcus Tower. He figured after today, he might check back in with the Exarch, seeing if perhaps the most selfless person in all of Norvrandt needed anything. _Probably not, _he figured, shrugging internally as he passed over the threshold. _That man was never one to accept help. Everyone always said he did everything himself. But while he admired that drive, he knew everyone needed assistance sometimes. _Perhaps...since he trusted so much in him, he'd listen. At least that's what he hoped. He figured he'd find him residing in the Ocular, his hand gently resting over the doors and tracing the odd metal framing of it before gently pushing it open. And just as he'd predicted, there the Exarch stood, watching quietly over the land he so valiantly had protected for centuries. He almost didn't want to ruin his quiet, but he wouldn't need to, as the door behind him shut, the echoing alerted both of them to his presence.

The Exarch nearly jumped out of his robes, not expecting to be caught off guard like such, but after a quick clearing of his throat, he met the warrior with a smile, straightening himself dutifully.

"My warrior, I do apologize for not acknowledging your presence. It seems I was lost in thought again." He paused a moment, noticing the nervous demeanor of the miqo'te and beckoning for him to join him.

"You've no need to worry, 'tis nothing of importance. I hear you've been busying yourself with helping those around the Crystarium. For that, I greatly thank you. By chance, did you stop by the markets?"

A'Tali's ear twitched in interest, knowing full well he'd probably ask. As much as he liked to hide the fact, the warrior knew the Exarch was really the one behind their meal making. He seemed to be quite the poor liar, but he'd never call him out on it. He was far too kind for that. Still, he knew he'd ask, so meeting the other with a smile, he turned to his satchel, gently shaking it so that the other could hear the Gil happily jingling somewhere near the bottom.

"I did actually! I hope it suffices. I saw on my way out this morning that the quarters were lacking so I figured I'd make it a last stop. They predicted you might make another request so it's already made its way over." He confirmed, watching the leader exhale happily before going to join him on the steps.

"Thank you, my friend. I've no idea how I did it all before summoning you here."

A small laugh, almost like an exhale left A'Tali as he sat down rather politely, glancing over to the strange mirror-portal and noticing how it reflected over a familiar area of the woods sitting outside the city. A silver haired viera stood watch over a small encampment, her eyes filled with duty and determination. However, she was taken aside for a moment as another smaller viera tugged at her pant leg, bouncing around in what seemed like a request to play. She tried to keep her stoic demeanor, but she couldn't help the child's pleas. _So she wasn't as hard headed as he thought. Interesting. She certainly seemed like someone who'd be playful, but he couldn't shake their first meeting..._

"Worried about Commander Lyna? She looks like she's travelled to The Ostall Imperstive and back many a time. I'm sure you've nothing to fear." A'Tali tried to assure the Exarch, earning a gentle huff from him, almost seemingly embarrassed to be called out for such a thing. _Sure, Lyna was grown now and could take care of herself but...that unexpected attack, and with many dropping dead each day, he always had to be watching. Especially if she happened to freeze up one unlucky day and get herself caught. He'd never forgive himself if he let that happen._

"But I do understand why you observe. She...lost her parents to the sin eaters, yes? It's only natural to still remain protective after all these years. You're very good at watching over your city, I almost envy your skill."

While that _was _true, The Exarch didn't exactly understand why it was he envied him. Did he not understand that he was the hero of legend? The one even the people of the Crystarium still raved about hundreds of years after his story came to an end? The selfless warrior of light: who, no matter what, always took up a task. Who always saved the day no matter the price he paid for himself. He was simply doing his job watching over his city, nothing more. Though perhaps that was how he saw his duty as well.

"I simply do so with care. Every resident is close to my heart, and it is my hope as well as my purpose that they all remain safe. I believe that you share that sentiment?"

A'Tali simply smiled in response, nodding a confirmation as his eyes cast themselves to the other, his face almost completely shrouded by his cowl. He wondered why it was that he hid his face. Was it that he preferred being shrouded in mystery? Or perhaps he was ashamed of what hid underneath it. Either way, it did spark his curiosity, but now was not the time for such questions. He still had yet to speak about what had transpired the previous day, and he knew it was going to be brought up as soon as their conversation came to a pause.

Regrets had reached an all time high as he watched the people of Lakeland gathering up what was left after Vauthry's menacing attack in the night. How resilient these people were despite losing so much in the expanse of...what? Mere bells? Ever confident they were, ever inspired they were despite the chaos. And there, stood at the head of this inspiration and confidence was the Exarch. His voice always ringing true to the people, always encouraging hope.

It had reminded him of someone. For the first time in a while, he had let himself slip. And perhaps it was because his voice held that diplomatic sass, perhaps it was because the ambient hum of the tower was reminding him of where that old voice slept. But he had fallen back to when he'd first allowed himself to show his heart to someone.

It was too much.

The Exarch has noticed his drift from the crowd.

He'd felt rather unnerved about coming back here since, and his ears displayed this well, falling back in shame as he felt the other's eyes on him. He hadn't meant to act as secluded as he did...he shouldn't have slipped in front of him…

"Exarch, I must apologize for my actions last evening. I was simply...overwhelmed with emotion. I'm sorry you had to see me like so." His voice was soft now, and his gaze averted itself to the towering ceiling, a look of melancholy stuck in his eyes.

It was then that the Exarch extended a hesitant hand, gently placing it against the sleeve of the warrior's glove.

"There's no need to apologize, my friend. Though, if I may...I can't help but notice each time you pass through those gates, you seem...haunted. My mind wanders to odd conclusions, but I recall that first morning you arrived. The man you spoke of...G'raha Tia...were you two close?" He inquired, his voice resonating care and kindness. Perhaps that was one reason A'Tali confided in him. He never once seemed to house ill will, despite how little he knew about him. He was still hesitant to answer, however, as it wasn't so simple to give.

"...I felt that we were. It was...complicated. We'd only known each other for a short time...though it felt longer. He was the first person I'd confided in after such a long time. He helped me to grow as a person, he…" the warrior paused, realizing he'd been playing with the strings of his gloves.

"...he was the first I'd ever had feelings for. I'm not sure where they came from, but they came so naturally...if only too late. I never confessed my feelings, and the closest I ever got was before he sealed himself away…" his voice broke at the last part, and one of his hands raised to his lips, his middle and index finger gently brushed against them.

"I've lost many people in my journeys as the warrior of light, and many were close to me...but none hurt me so deeply as when I found this tower lacking him. Perhaps it was because I'd dreamed of seeing him once more...perhaps it was because...he never really knew how important he was...to the world. To me."

The Exarch listened on in silence, not knowing what he could say to him for once, though he felt as if simply listening would comfort him. _If only he knew...he wouldn't have to shed another tear._

"I-I apologize! I didn't mean to grow so gloomy again...I just-!" A'Tali was quick to apologize, and was just as quickly cut off by the other who shook his head, his non crystallized hand pressing a finger against his lips in a "hush."

"As I said, you've no need to apologize to me. I brought it up, after all, and I believe you need to talk about it. Does it feel better, talking about him?" He inquired once more, this time in genuine curiosity. _Did he think about him? Was he truly that important?_

The warrior simply grew quiet for a moment, before placing a hand over the one on his sleeve. He felt the other stiffen at the sudden interaction, perhaps a bit self conscious about his arm? No matter, he was confiding in him now, and something told him that while he welcomed such interaction, he hadn't experienced it in quite some time. He couldn't blame him, being the Exarch and all, always busy and always keeping to himself to ensure everyone turned out okay. He admired him for that.

"...it does. But I also feel great sadness. I'll never truly know of his fate. I'll never know the world he woke up to or how long it took us...or if I still greeted him as a friend...or if I was there at all. I fear so much for him...but I also know he wouldn't want me to linger in sorrow like this. He was always so positive. The driving force of our adventure, I'd like to say."

_The driving force? Their...adventure? _The Exarch could feel his heart skip a beat at his explanation, though the other felt sorrow in his heart, he felt something lift inside him as he thought to their previous moments together. How sassy and spritely G'raha Tia was, how he was constantly uplifting the team's spirits. How, even to the end of the adventure, he stayed smiling. For himself, and for A'Tali. This, the both of them knew.

"...it's strange. You remind me of him in a way."

It was quietly spoken, but the Exarch perked up in interest still. _Like him? _

"O-Oh? How so?"

A'Tali smiled, quite entertained by the other's reaction as he readjusted his glasses. He leaned forward slightly, a gentle shine in his pale eyes as he leaned his head against his hand.

"Well, you're both so dutiful. You take charge, but not in the way a typical leader would, you know? You're kind and compassionate to everyone you take care of...and you have that wave of mystery about you that can sometimes bother me but...can also be very alluring." The warrior laughed once more, his gaze so fixated on the portal, he didn't notice the other looking to their hands. _And thank the gods he didn't...for the Exarch was speechless, and underneath his cowl his cheeks were warm with admiration and embarrassment. _

"Perhaps it's crazy but...sometimes you speak and it reminds me of him. The way that you talk often reminds me of those little moments where he'd drop his playful demeanor for a serious moment. It...made me sad, seeing such a happy soul take up such a grand duty...and how it affected him in such a short time. I often wonder if perhaps it was the same for you…" he trailed, before his tail shot up in alarm, realizing he was growing far too informal with the other and turning to him in a flustered demeanor.

"I-I mean! There's just so much to think about while I'm here…and I'm afraid I don't know very much about you, so all I have to go off of is assumption!" He corrected himself, hoping to Hydaelyn that he hadn't offended the other. Though he didn't seem much bothered by it. In fact, he thought he heard a soft chuckle from under that cowl. The hold on his crystalline hand remained, and his ear flickered curiously. _If only he knew how right he was in his musings. If only he knew…_

"I suppose that's partially my fault. We've usually no downtime in such a busy city. And...well I suppose I'm not used to such casual conversation. But...you would be correct in your assumptions in a way. Of course, I'm much happier now than I was first taking this duty...though I feel as if I've grown less jubilant over time. For what used to be pure joy has been glossed over with responsibility and worry." The Exarch explained, his eyes turning up wistfully to the high ceilings of the ocular, watching the sun gently reflect off of its crystalline arches. It had been quite some time since he'd felt like the man he used to be, but there was a reason to everything, and so that was why he was the way that he was now. Surely the other understood, but his silence worried him all the worse.

"I am still happy though, you needn't worry. I know my purpose and it pleases me to know that I'm capable of carrying it out." He continued, before pausing as he turned to see the warrior leaning in rather close, a cautious hand quickly raising to tug at his cowl, before freezing up as he locked gazes with him. He didn't know what it was, but the gentle gaze the other reflected caught him in something he couldn't describe. It was almost as if he felt that small, internalized feeling of being as he used to, before all of this. He'd forgotten for a moment what it was to hide himself. Did he need to? They were in close proximity, sure but...it was nice.

And on the other hand, A'Tali couldn't stop feeling...something. Surely it couldn't have been the Echo. Hydaelyn hadn't exactly been very helpful when it came to the Exarch, though perhaps thing worked differently when you were a rift traversing mage like he was. Even still, this whole time he'd felt something so familiar about the other. His personality, his aura...his voice. Maybe it was just that he was longing for what used to be…maybe…_no...he couldn't possibly...and yet-_

The seeker's eyes barely flicked back to their practically intertwined hands before returning to the top of the other's cowl...and then to the only feature he could make out from under it. _His lips._ He gently squeezed his hand, feeling something flutter in his chest. The longer he stared, the more he felt inclined to lean in. _Why did he feel so familiar? _His free hand guided itself back to his bottom lip, gently biting his thumb in thought. The silence was killing the both of them, and the warrior broke it first.

"...Truly, why have you summoned me here? Surely there was another warrior who came after me? With so many heroes across time, why me?"

_Because I wished to see you again. Because I couldn't stand the thought of you dying, especially when I could have prevented it. Because I simply want you here. _The Exarch's thoughts raced, locked into his minty gaze. What was he to say?

"I…"

He didn't need to answer though, for the hand previously pressed against the warrior's lips came to cup his face. His thumb gently traced the crystal markings on his cheek, and A'Tali swore he felt him lean in. With all the things he'd done for him in the short time he'd been in the First, he could tell it was nothing short of admiration. Perhaps..._did the Exarch have feelings for him…? Or was that just his longing heart hoping for something? _No matter the case, they were practically touching noses now, and both were frozen like a stag being hunted by a dragon. It was A'Tali that broke their pause, closing the small space between them and pressing his lips against the other's. He swore he felt his robes move from the sudden act of affection, but thought nothing of it as he remained in the kiss a moment longer, his tail flickering cautiously. He backed away slightly, but was still close enough to feel the other's breath against his lips. His eyes barely caught a glimmering ruby gaze, but he looked away before he scared the other further.

_Oh gods, what had he done…?_

"Forgive me, Exarch I…" he began, but just as quickly trailed off as he watched the other take the hand on his cheek, his fingers intertwining themself in the warrior's. How gentle he was, A'Tali thought to himself. It was much different than how he portrayed himself on the battlefield, almost like someone else he knew…

He couldn't help it, he leaned in again, and this time the other reciprocated. He felt the hand on his glove grip the fabric, sensing that he wanted him close. He obliged, scooting closer and nearly pressing chests with him as he freely indulged in his affection. _How good it felt to kiss someone again. And the Exarch could share his sentiments. He'd missed him so much, it was a shame A'Tali might never know what was really happening. But he did, and he loved every second of it._

Small seconds passed, and the kisses grew deeper and deeper. The warrior's fangs biting into the Exarch's bottom lip, issuing a small sigh as he slowly dragged them against the gentle skin. Both of his hands moved to press themselves against his back, gripping his robes as his previous worries seemed to numb. _He tasted so good...he felt even better, and he wanted to be closer. _Carelessly, he pulled him closer, pressing their chests together in the now heated kissing session. A hand came around to hold his hips, moving the Exarch into his lap just as he pulled away from the kiss, moving it down his neck, then to his arm. Each kiss was followed by a gentle bite, eliciting small whines and huffs from the other, who was trying to muffle said noises. This made A'Tali grin. _Good, he thought, trying to hide his attraction thrilled him. _

The hand on his hips gripped the fabric, balling into a fist to hitch the skirt of the robe up over his knee. Carefully, his hand traced up his bare thigh, and he felt the other shiver, but he was rumbling like..._was he purring? Was the Exarch also a Miqo'te? _Again, he wouldn't say anything for fear of alarming him. He just wanted this right now, so ignorance was bliss. When his hand moved to his inner thigh, he felt the other lean against him, his face pressing against his shoulder in an attempt to hide his pleasured noises. _So, he was very submissive. Good to know. _A'Tali mentally noted, before moving to rub his inner thigh. He could feel the Exarch breathing shakily, his hips gently moving with his hand, and he couldn't help but be turned on by this. Gently, he bit at a soft spot on his skin, sucking on it casually as his hand continued on to the other's briefs. The other froze at the touch, and what A'Tali presumed to be his tail flickered from under his robes. He grinned, his own tail coming around to wrap itself around the Exarch's leg. He leaned in for another, rushed kiss, the other quickly and mindlessly complying. _Don't let this end. Gods please don't..._

Though it was only briefly after that they'd heard a rapping at the Ocular's doors, to which the Exarch almost fell back from his surprised jump, gripping tightly to the warrior in fear of someone walking in, but instead, a voice came from the other side.

"I apologize for the short notice, Exarch, but might I have a moment of your time? 'Tis regarding your request about the garden?"

If there was ever a deep shade of red possible for someone to turn, his was the deepest. He'd gotten so engrossed in..._this..._he'd completely forgotten about his duties. _So it was. So it always would be._

"I-I...Of course, I shall attend to it shortly. Allow me a moment, If you will." He assured the waiting citizen, all the while trying to catch his breath. He soon received confirmation, and after hearing the guest depart, he cupped his hand over his mouth in embarrassment, his cheeks flushed and hot as he pulled his cowl even lower. He wished for the other to avoid seeing him. _How could he be so irresponsible and foolish? Just like the man he used to be…_

_Just like him…_

"Exarch, my deepest apologies...I don't know what came over me, I just-" The warrior began, but was quickly cut off by the other gently pecking his lips, and just as quickly leaning away to stand himself up. Just as graceful as he usually was, he brushed off his robes, and turned to the other with a gentle smile.

"No need to apologize to me, A'Tali. But perhaps it would be best if we kept this...a secret." He paused, rubbing the wrist of his crystalline hand, almost as if he were in thought about something, before nodding, and turning to go.

"I shall return anon. Pray, try not to overwork yourself before I do?"

The warrior hesitated for a moment, still getting over that hasty last kiss, his fingers against his pursed lips, before nodding.

"Of course. I hope for your lively return, Exarch." He wished him off, and as he watched him go, he could've sworn he felt that familiar feeling in his chest again. One of longing. One of mystery.

One of love.


End file.
